"Joseph's" Testimony of Freedom
As I felt the heat of shame rush over me, Tracey began to speak and silence my shame with her voice. I don’t remember much of what she said, but I do remember being washed by love, compassion, truth, and respect.

“Joseph’s” Testimony of Freedom

by IHOPKC Staff Writer
6/7/17 Christian Living

Sin often leads to isolation and shame, causing the person to ask if there’s any hope of change. “Joseph” had many struggles, but found freedom by confessing his sins to a trusted friend, putting boundaries in place, and meditating on God’s Word. Read his story here:

I remember the day I first was asked to sit in front of Tracey Bickle to talk about the things I’d been dealing with.

I remember thinking, “I don’t know what she’s going to think if I tell her . . . What will she think when she hears my darkest behavior?”

She began by reassuring me that I was in a safe space and it seemed the decision was on me—what did I have to lose? So I began the painful disclosure to share and confess my chronic acting out in masturbation, porn, self-harm—even my suicide attempts.

I don’t know if I would have called them addictions at that point, but I knew, in secret, that they’d become bad. As I felt the heat of shame rush over me, Tracey began to speak and silence my shame with her voice. I don’t remember much of what she said, but I do remember being washed by love, compassion, truth, and respect.

She didn’t make me feel like an alien or that I had a sickness, but she saw me. I remember her saying I needed to put some things in place to walk free. She also said that this is going to be a hard journey, but a journey I wouldn’t have to do alone.

She told me if I ever wanted to process or just talk, that she would be there to listen and give advice, but more importantly to say the words my heart needed to hear the most: “I am okay.”

Tracey still, to this day, encourages me to fight and walk out my healing. I know she probably doesn’t remember everything I was addicted to, but I do know she still wants to know how I’m doing.

If it’s a short conversation or a long one, I know she is fighting for me, but most importantly she is cheering me on. Tracey’s leading of me to pursue community was one of the best things I received and has kept me persistent in fighting and gaining victories over my addictions.

She had me put in place these areas:

  1. Accountability that would hold me to my commitment
  2. Software for EVERY device
  3. Taught me to not lie to myself and, when I needed to take a break from “screens” for a moment, not to talk myself out of it
  4. Prayer, washing myself in the water of the Word, continually keeping myself under good leadership who knows me and stands with me
  5. Have goals and reward myself when they are accomplished

 
Continue reading about how science verifies that pornography addiction can ruin many areas of your life »

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